Depression and anxiety have played a huge part in my life, I didn’t really understand them and its taken me over 30 years to actually come to terms with the fact that I have them, so first of all acceptance, this sounds so easy doesn’t it but realizing you have a problem and accepting it is the hardest bit, second is find out who you really are, not knowing who I was lead me down a road of destruction and it effected my trust, believe and self worth to name only a few, finding out who you are allows you to find out who others are and trust them more, I was unsure and frightened of counselling I had a few goes as most have, but the secret is to go once you have achieved
the 2 points above as before that I thought what a load of baloney, also finding the right counsellor is difficult, don’t believe that the first counsellor is the only one, if you don’t feel good ask to change to someone you do feel good with, don’t waste weeks with the wrong counsellor, your wasting your time and theirs.
when you get a panic attack, something that a lot of people don’t understand or believe these happen and will blame it on many things to do with your brain or body, but really what I find is these don’t always have to be full blown attacks which are at their worst is a feeling of I think the worst thing I’ve ever known, room spin, desperation, worry, scary, anger, complete meltdown. but the little ones can be just as bad as often you don’t actually know they are happening and that can lead to forming opinions and life examples that are based in your anxiety and of course like anxiety will grow inside you eating away at you
so as for advise, from one old sufferer, realise life is too short to worry
about everything, explain to people about how you feel, I know how hard this is, but its important that people understand fully how you are and that allowing them into your world means you will often need reassurance and definition of anything and everything, find a good counsellor and be totally honest with them, cutting corners is to easy to do, the problem is that the cure is already in you really its just believing that, a good counsellor will not tell you anything, but will allow you to explore some of the truths and life experiences that were formed badly and help you find a path to correcting this
I started with “tomorrow start a new day”, only looking forward at the wonders in life, using the above look at new meanings to things that you have already worked out, but don’t over think them, accept you will make mistakes and those around you will accept them, if you have explained as I said earlier, never judge a book by its cover, believe in yourself to judge it for yourself even if others make judgements on it that you can see could fit. understand people make mistakes and learn understanding and forgiveness, just like you they are only human, learn to adapt and try and understand them and their thoughts and grow with them in understanding
I hope this makes sense as I often have trouble finding the right words to use, I often will use a word that sounds the same and means something similar, but is wrong and can lead to misunderstandings, something else I’m trying addressing by explaining it to people, If you have taken the time to read this, I wish you the strength to adapt, learn, accept and believe…
I have spent a lifetime looking for the right person
and only now I realise that I had it the whole time
sometimes you have say it the way it is, you may hurt some, and make others happy, and many will never understand, but really between all the crap and the bitching and all the shit that follows them around, if there is one person that you help then its all worth it, fuck karma and all that, if its the right thing, then you should do it without thinking, no matter the consequences or outcome
I am who I am, I am of a type and will never venture out of my type again ever, don’t try and change me, accept me for what I am with all my baggage and problems, and not what I could be or you wish me to be, follow the above and I will be by your side in everything without challenge whatever may happen till the day I die. if you don’t understand or agree with any of the above stay the fuck away from me
We Travel our own road, we decide on our own journeys and routes to
take, We choose to turn or be convinced into turning off the path that we ourselves set, No one makes us do this or anything in life. at the end only alone do we have to explain this, not to anyone else, only to ourselves, our own worst enemies.
From Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:
I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
At about 14 years of age, I got a Honda step through, drooling at everyone else’s machines who where older and had FS1E and AP50 etc. I thought unprintable things, but I had something and that was at least a start. I soon learnt to strip it down and maintain it, the good thing was it was a 4 stroke engine, and I learnt to polish ports and grind valves. Hey, I know it was only a 50cc but from little acorns and all that stuff.
I started hanging with some guys soon after that, and was taught the basic’s and beliefs of the bikers world through them, and others I came into contact with. Now some 25 years later, yes I’m still alive after 25 years of biking, and have had these AP50(Suzuki) and a fsie fitted with a beeline racing kit, an X7(250)(Suzuki),GT380 (Suzuki),Honda 550K3, Honda 750, XS650, GS850, GS750, XS650c, KH400, VN750, Honda 1100, KH1, Trike, Z750, zepher1100, FJ1200 … sorry if I missed any, but hey lot of years and that doesn’t include the borrowed ones.
I think what I’m trying to put over to you is time served here. You see I don’t believe the present system works. Oh well, now I’ll just have to pay to pass a test”. Sorry but understanding the machine gives insight to how it rides and knowing the good sounds and bad sounds forewarns of problems etc. Learning comes from the want to learn, forced learning doesn’t work the same. I mean don’t misunderstand me, we all have to learn and the present way teaches how to stay alive, but surely you should learn to respect your machine, treat it well, listen to its problems, and it will help you though the valley of idiots out there, Hell bent to knock you off. You can’t expect to ride a horse without learning its little quirks and dislikes, and although a machine is not alive, you are, and you’re on it.
That’s basically where lifestyle comes into biking. So what is the biker’s life style ? Well of course this is where we can get political and I’m sorry I don’t do that bit!! I respect any one who has the lust to ride on two / three wheels, yes I used the word lust and that’s what it is to me. That and the togetherness I have always got when around other like minded people, anyone who knows me knows that it’s not just the wind in my hair, nor the thrill of speed and the daring to push just that bit further by making that little adjustment. I was taken to loads of rockers do’s and made the trip to Brighton front as a pillion for many years before taking someone myself. Biking is meant to be fun, although there are loads of things that aren’t fun about it – the cold and wet weather, ice and snow, walls and wing mirrors, the idiot who puts bike parking where you can’t get to it, and my favourite … skip lorries who don’t net a loose load – grit in your face is no fun.
So what am I on about? I suppose it would have to be said I’m a biker that’s a bit bemused at the constant battering that the lifestyle takes. Someone asked me the other day “Did I vote?”. My answer took them back … why would I vote in an election where the represented parties have no intention of fulfilling their promises and ideas, so that hundreds of old farts have an excuse to sit back and vote on my behalf when the have no idea of my view , needs or thoughts. Show me an MP that considers that quality of life of all walks of life, and consideration of others rights and needs before themselves, and I’ll show you someone I’ll vote for.
I hate politics, politicians and all that they stand for … they have no respect. Even the nastiest people I know respect the old, I’ve seen hardened bro’s helping out granny and granddad in a time of need.
Also, there’s always one in a crowd, not all bikers are what they seem. I went to a rally with one lad who just wanted to get drunk and have a go at everyone. After considering the outcomes, I got him plastered and he slept for 3 days solid, but he didn’t bother anyone again at that rally, and after a stiff talk, I think he’s sorted himself out, and now he’s gone into accounting, say no more !
It’s just the same in every walk of life … wannabees, idiots prats, money grabbers, freaks,
So what’s next, well of course they will make it even harder and more expensive to get on yer bike, kids will stop coming into the biking life and go for cars that are cheaper and all that, but hold on a moment. Lets look at this a while, bikes are bullets, but so are cars, even push bikes are dangerous if you want to look at it properly. If it’s the speed thing that everyone goes on about, on a bike you have to have the nerve to do speed. It has to be a reasonable day, and you need to know the road, but in a car weather is unimportant, you’re warm with that heater going, you’ve got four wheels to hold the road with, believe me on ice two or four it will make no difference and as for speed. Well OK, so a car doesn’t do it for me, but even the smallest car will do a ton nowadays.
OK, the last words I’ll say … don’t look at me like that. 🙂
Bikes are dangerous, but so is everything in life. Personally speaking I feel dying is not nice, and I wouldn’t do anything to put myself at risk of death again or anyone around me for that matter. Stop building bikes that do over the ton, and make them more sexy and smart to look at, as you can only see the marvelous mechanics of any bike when its standing still anyway. You don’t hear, “Hey look at those polished ports” as a bike passes by? Make it cheaper for kids to get into biking, you’d stop hundreds of them doing it illegally and have safer roads. Change the idea that speed is the goal to achieve, as anyone can buy a Vmax and go really fast on it, but can they set up the carbs or change the head bearings? I’m sorry but in my books a 16 year old who can do the above gets more respect than a 50 year old on a fast 1000cc plastic rocket.
Stop politics within biking, I’m to old to be bothered with that and so will all of you be sooner than you think, get out there, ride your machine, have fun, and experience the wonder of life and what it offers you. If you don’t, you’ll look back one day and wonder why you didn’t, I DO and I did it, just not enough, and now I’m struggling to catch up to a level that I want to be at.
I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends, If we understand that friends change.
I’ve learned that something that you do in an instant, can give you heartache for life
I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be that last time you see them.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I’ve learned that either you control your attitude, or it controls you
I’ve learned that my best friend and I , can do anything or nothing and still have a good time.
I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down, will be the one who helps you get up.
I’ve learned that sometimes when i am angry i have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them too, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.
I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned that just because two people argue, doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do love each other.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret, it may change you life forever.
I’ve learned that sometimes the people that you love most in lfe, are taken from you too soon.
I’ve learned that you can’t make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them.
I’ve learned that no matter how much i care, some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and just seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in life, but who you have that counts.
I’ve learned that you can keep going, long after you think you can’t.
I’ve learned that their are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.
I’ve learned that even when you feel you have no more to give, and a friend cries out and you find the strength to help.
I’ve learned that our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives, but we are responsible for who we become
and most of all I’ve learned that is a smile costs nothing, a tear isn’t always due to pain and this is far far too long and all true